An Introduction to the Start

Have you ever felt lost?

Have you ever felt like you were a balloon flying to whatever direction the wind goes?

I, like anyone else, have had those empty moments. Actually, I cannot call them “moments” for they can actually take up to months or even years. What’s worse is that some people have it for as long as this thing we call “life”.

I know. What an introduction! So dull and low and sad. This is probably what I’d tell my past self after reading this post. But this is how my story will go, it will come from the bottom, and will have its ups and downs. What I look forward to are the learnings I will keep on getting, and the happy memories that will keep me alive.

Where does this all begin?

It began when I noticed I was dragging myself out of bed. I was following a routine then. Well, for others who looked from outside my bubble, I did seem happy and contented. (Ah, contentment, why so elusive?) I was working and studying, getting by, and living..or so I thought.

It dawned on me one day (the date I can’t exactly remember)~ Oh, I am just existing. I was lost in this sea of people, desires, and fake identities. It came to a point when I was hesitant which step to make or which path to choose.

My days were spent on mundane things that I thought was giving sense to my life. I was so caught up on other people’s lives. Nothing bad with living this way, but I felt something was wrong within me. I must have been real greedy, or discontented. I know now. I was fighting with my real self that I kept buried inside of me.

Why did I do that? I wanted to belong and live following other people’s blueprints. I disregarded mine. Sadly, I did not listen to the voice inside my head or my heart. I silenced it as I tried to squeeze myself into others’ patterns. But then again, that one fateful day (the day I don’t really remember) that voice I ignored started to have an effect on me. And it bothered me.

So, I stopped everything. I wanted to save myself from myself. Sounds so weird, I know. But one night (again, I don’t remember exactly. I should really stop saying this line), I prayed so hard that I cried, almost wailing. I was certain I got the push I needed from up above. I gathered all the courage I could muster, and I said goodbye to the life I used to exist in.

This. This is the start of my story.

It has been over two years of self-love. I surrounded myself with the good variables God casually threw along my path. I focused on myself so that I could listen to what I actually wanted. After 26 years, I finally had the chance to see myself for the first time.

It was a hard process of cutting myself out of the world I used to live in. For a year, I didn’t use any social networking sites. I stopped myself from meeting people. In the process, I know I did hurt not only one soul for my selfish endeavor. I apologize to those people.

But through this process, I think that I am living my 28th year on this planet better than I ever had. And this is what this Project 28 is.  

Project 28. A documentation of my learnings, the choices I made and will make, and the list of wins and loses as I delve into my 28th and so on. Headstrong.

Note: This blog is pretty random. Nonetheless, I believe that every life is like a book where we can learn from. I can't socialize well so, I will just put my heart and soul into this. Welcome!